


Feels Like Home

by missema



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Drabbles, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Falling In Love, Femslash, Femslash Big Bang, Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-02-14 14:28:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 19,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2195223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missema/pseuds/missema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carillia the Redguard Dovahkiin and Aela the Huntress meet and fall in love in Skyrim, but the nature of the Dragonborn's life and a civil war complete with dragons doesn't make for a smooth romance.   </p><p>Mostly chapters and with a few drabbles mixed in.  The first few chapters are pre-game and follow the opening events of Skyrim.</p><p>Written for the Femslash Big Bang 2014</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

In her 29th summer of life, Fjori the huntress met the warlord Holgeir on the field of battle. None remember what they fought over, for their love to come was so great it overshadowed all rivalries or disputes. They fought to a standstill, as their followers looked on - till her sword broke his axe and his shield dulled her blade and all could see that they were equals.  
As the Eagle finds its mates, so too did Fjori find hers in Holgeir, and a time of peace came to the clans of the forest. But as the summer's warmth gives way to winter's chill, so too would this peace pass.

\-- Of Fjori and Holgeir

The business of Skyrim isn't about love. The people of the harsh land, the native Nords and those who choose to settle there among the ice plains and marshes, aren't generally looking for love. There is peace in the wind swept plateaus, and even a luxurious sort of solitude, but seldom do people expect to find love.

It is poetic the way it happens for those in the icy north - they are almost always caught by surprise. Battle and harsh weather are expected, famine and natural disasters are anticipated, bandits all too common. But love and all the complications and benefits of it cannot be prepared for in advance and seldom foreseen. the surprise is what makes the Nords fall harder, because it is always true and strong when it hits them, just like the hearts it inhabits.


	2. From Whence We Came

The warrior blood ran strong in her heart, so loud that she couldn't drown out the constant thrum of it when it spoke to her. Hrotti Blackblade couldn't live her life without the fight, and she joined the mightiest band of warriors in Skyrim. The Companions had been fighting, warring and dragging honor back to their mead hall since the days of Ysgramor. There was no other place for her.

It came a time when she married another Companion, a man whom held the same ideas of honor and strength that she had, and they had children, one of whom died in infancy. The other was a girl, who grew into a young woman with a strong and stout heart, and lived with her parents in Whiterun, the Companions her extended family. When she was old enough, she endured her Trial and lived, joining the same group that brought her parents together. Since that time, all the women descended from Hrotti have joined the Companions. 

Aela the Huntress came from a long and noble line of women, and yearned to join the Companions just as her foremothers had. Stories and tales passed own to her, told by her father after her mother died, and by her grandmother until her death. There were tales of valor and strength, of battles won and lost, of songs sung and honor gained. What there wasn't was any word about was how few people could actually be Companions. She wanted to believe the best of all the hopefuls, but scant few of them ever made it.

She wasn't even sure that she was worthy, until she got into the group.

Aela grew up in the remote parts of Skyrim with her father. It was never the same place for too long, but they all were good places, full of chances for her to learn. They hunted ceaselessly, carving out an existence among the ice, snow and animals. She learned the ways of the land, and how to roam it like a hunter and understand it innately. The ice and blue sky were as much as part of her as they were a part of Skyrim.

They'd traveled in her youth, mostly excursions into the Dunmer land of Morrowind. There was once a short foray into the Cyrodiil with her father, and a few jaunts over the border into High Rock. All of the places had their own tenor, a flavor that made them feel different from home, but the hunt was still the same. It was about adaptation and skill, and that is why her father took for her so far afield.

Skyrim lived within her, and she was more than happy to settle into Whiterun once she'd passed her entrance trials into the Companions. It was a good city, the Jarl fair and the folk hardworking and honest. No city in Skyrim was as peaceful and prosperous, and she enjoyed life within its walls for the most part. There were nights when the wind called to her, when the jobs weren't enough to make her feel as if she was keeping her skills sharp, or the hills just outside Whiterun hid bandits that needed to taste of her arrows. She accepted those feelings as part of her too, and never denied them.

The Companions were a good fit, but nothing was ever perfect.

 

#####

Carillia was a true child of the Ra Garda, she of the sunny sands and way of the blade. Her homeland had been left behind to travel to High Rock and then Cyrodiil and study, adventure calling more to her more than the siren song of the desert of her homeland. Though she missed it with a pang, she did not go back. Carillia didn't believe in going backwards. When it was time for her to go back to Hammerfell, the way would be clear.

Her past was something that she looked back on fondly, but she didn't dwell on it. Hammerfell was a long way away from where the world had brought her. Sometimes in the damp mugginess of the deep summer that the Imperials seemed to enjoy, she missed the dryness of it all, the smell of salty sea wind and sand mixed, of horses and cedar. But travel enriched her, other people intriguing her naturally curious nature. 

Her brother, the last vestiges of a family displaced, now wandered around the Alik'r desert, taking the name for himself - an Alik'r warrior. They worked and fought and practiced the oldest of their beliefs, the ones that came from Yokuda with their ancestors before it was claimed by the water. Carillia hadn't wanted that life, though sometimes she thought fondly of it, and how it must have suited her upstanding, traditional brother. Much time has passed since they last spoke, and has heard nothing of him in the past two years.

It seems almost natural to want to leave, since there was nothing to keep her in Hammerfell. Still, it is strangely hard to part herself from the place. Even before she sails away, she misses Hammerfell. But her life needs more than just nostalgia to anchor her to a place, and her excitement for the future eclipsed the heaviness in her heart quickly.

Her first stop was close to home, almost like a test to see if she would like to be parted from the sands. She went to High Rock, to the land of the Bretons. As exciting as it was to be away from home, it was hard to insinuate herself into their cloistered society.

"You are, my dear, one of the smartest women I have ever met." The tutor extolled the compliment with a flourish, but Carillia couldn't muster more than a weak smile in return. 

High Rock had worn on her - not just the change in cultures and places, but the little intricacies of a society that reveled in politics and intrigue always tangled her up. It wasn't a place that she looked back upon with fond memories, though she did learn a great deal.

Cyrodiil was more of the same, except less obvious. Imperials wanted to seem diplomatic in public, and they had masks not easily discarded in private. At first, she liked it better because she was less obviously out of place. The Imperial Province was a mixed place, with all sorts of people calling it home. A Redguard was no more out of place there than the Nords or the Dunmer that she met in shops, or the Argonian that owned the inn where she slept.

Even after a short stint in the Fighter's Guild, she wanted to move on. It took a trip to the temple, and the chance of overhearing a merchant bound for Skyrim to make her settle on going there. It was never a place she'd thought to visit, her mind had been wandering back towards Stros M'kai, more towards home, but going home felt like a sort of defeat. There were always elven lands to visit, or the dusty sands of Elsweyr, though she'd need a guide to take her there. 

But she overheard the merchant who spoke of good coin for strong sword arms and traders alike. He'd been talking to a friend in the temple of Akatosh, and said the Nords needed both and were willing to pay. There roads were clear for the most part, save for the wolves and bears, and their cities walled and comfortable.

From his words, Skyrim took hold in her mind and didn't let go. By the time she was ready to leave, she hadn't a coin to her name and only the thought of heading north in her head.


	3. First Impressions

She hadn't expected this, but then again, there weren't many who expected to wake up bound in the back of a cart. Her consciousness came back to her slowly, but Carillia had no memory of how she'd lost it in the first place. Instead of trying to think back and furthering the headache that was drumming in the back of her head, she began to look around her. 

There was a talkative Nord nearby her, another man in rags and one in fine clothing with his mouth gagged along with his bound hands. It seemed strange that they would gag just the one prisoner and not all of them, but Carillia soon found out why. He was a man of importance, a Jarl of one of the Skyrim Holds. She knew little of the Skyrim government save for that they were still fiercely independent, even though they were united under one sovereign. This man was something of a petty King in her mind.

Despite her imprisonment, the day was lovely and bright as if to mock her lack of freedom. She thought Skyrim a harsh place, and perhaps that was true if she was already imprisoned, but it seemed a beautiful place as well. Her dim mind registered that they were passing through a snowy forest, full of pine trees and laughing birds that fly in and out of the branches overhead. As the wagon rattled on she saw stone walls and buildings up ahead - a town. 

Regret filled her instantly. Whatever mistake she'd blundered into, she was sad that her first impression of Skyrim would likely be her last. For all that she was afraid, and she was terribly afraid already, before they'd even spotted the town filled with Imperial soldiers, Carillia also found herself taken in by the beauty of her surroundings. It was a shame that her first visit to Skyrim was going to be the last time she went anywhere, by the looks of the Imperials waiting in Helgen.

The Far Shores awaited her, and she would meet them with a stout heart.

#####

Whiterun was a large hold, and the Companions often found themselves called to the far reaches to tend to the problems that grew outside of the city walls. But there were always bandits and the like nearby, even after they went through and cleared them out a few times. There was something to be said about fools and the lure of what seemed like easy money.

Their task that day was no easy money, but it was near the city of Whiterun. Just outside the walls, at the farm of Severio Pelagia a giant blundered into the crops. It was nothing that they couldn't handle, especially not with three of them there to take him down. Pelagia was more concerned about his crops than anything else and asked that they try not to trample all of them. When they'd set out, she promised nothing but the death of the giant. Who cared if a few cabbages got crushed underfoot while they dealt with the real problem? Crops could be regrown, especially in the fertile soil and mild climate they enjoyed.

Aela didn't think much of the warrior who ran up at the end of their fight with the giant. Then again most people wouldn't have even attempted to help, so the woman was definitely courageous, and that counted for a lot. That at least, deserved a mention. There were too few that were stout of heart and arm, and though combat skills could be tested and honed, there were few that were enough to become Companions. The woman was another archer, unfamiliar arrows with red fletching found their mark in the chest of the giant, next to the arrows Aela herself had fired. 

It was Farkas that made the death blow, his greatsword cutting a fatal swath across the beast and making it fall. Aela grunted approvingly, once she moved hastily out of the radius of the falling giant. It lay dead at her feet, but she ignored it. Cleanup wasn't her job, but addressing the unknown warrior was. When she thanked the Redguard woman for her help, she got a wide smile in return that reflexively made Aela smile back. 

"Perhaps we will yet hunt together." Aela said. It was really a question, but she didn't expect an answer.

"I hope so." The woman said, her smile ever widening as she did. 

The bright grin was too sweet not to return, the eyes behind it curious and intelligent as she began to ask Aela question similar to the ones she had just posed to Farkas. The conversation was brief - Farkas was by no means a man of many words - and the newcomer had only wanted to ask about him about the Companions, as if verifying it was a real group before pressing onwards.

There was no more chatter as they all walked towards Whiterun, but the woman walked ahead of them, speaking quickly with a gate guard and then vanishing within. Aela took her time going back to the city, the fatigue of battle settling into her. Her mind was still focused on that sweet smile she'd gotten from the Redguard woman, who'd called herself Carillia. Carillia was a newcomer to Skyrim, that much was clear from her questions, but Aela never minded travelers. They made life interesting, drifting in and out of places for good or ill. She found herself hoping that Carillia wasn't one of the ones that would leave too soon. She could get used to her being around.

Behind her, Farkas hummed to himself, as he almost always did after a successful battle, but this time it warmed her to hear it. Perhaps her own mood was lifted by the thought of more battles in good company.

There were many people that wanted to join the Companions, and not all of them were a good fit. She thought that this woman, the one now talking with Farkas - might just be one of the rare ones that could handle it. It wasn't all noble drinking stories and glorious battle, some victories were hard won, if they counted as victories at all. 

 

#####

Carillia had one fast rule about what to do in a situation she wasn't sure about - ask questions. It was strange that taking on a giant didn't phase her, but talking to the warrior woman in the ancient looking armor made her giddy. Her face didn't smile, but it was pretty anyway, and she answered Carillia's questions easily enough. Aela the Huntress she was called, and no doubt she'd earned the name. Aela was part of a group called the Companions. She'd heard a little about them in Riverwood, but knew next to nothing. Skyrim seemed full of little factions and groups like that, but since she had little knowledge of any of them, she reserved judgement.

She gathered facts, talked to all the people there and then walked the short distance to Whiterun. All the while, she was thinking of the woman, Aela. She had heard of her group before, in passing. She however, wanted to know all she could about the woman with the bear claw tattoos across her pleasing face and the group she represented. The Companions, she knew had a long history but most it escaped Carillia as she tried to recall it.

At the gate she turned back to see the small group from the giant fight following her path up to the city. Aela was leading, walking a short distance behind where Carillia stood. In the space of a moment, she looked over the woman. She had fine looking legs, though the rest of her was just as lovely. But then she turned back the guard who was holding the gate open for her and disappeared behind it, only stopping to ask where the Jarl was located. She had a message to deliver, despite her desire to go back and talk to Aela, to follow her back to her group and petition to become a member.

A priest ranting about Talos stood at a shrine, letting the people pass him by as he shouted. She stopped to invoke the blessing of the shrine. It never was a bad idea to pay homage to the local gods, even if they were outlawed. She never really believed in that, that the elves should care one way or another what other people believed. But then again, she'd seen the fighting between the elves and her people, and appreciated all acts of defiance against their Thalmor regime. 

Other provinces saw Skyrim as a barbaric backwater, filled with jarls playing at politics and savagery while yelling about honor. She hadn't expected warmth, invitations and hospitality as she'd enjoyed so far. Waking up on a cart headed for the axe wasn't the most pleasant of beginnings, but the hospitality shown to her in Riverwood had made up for some of it. Meeting Aela the Huntress had made up for it even more.

She had a feeling that she'd be in Skyrim a good long time, and that excited Carillia. It seemed a much better fit for her than High Rock, at least now that she wasn't on a cart headed to her execution. There was a lot to like about the place.


	4. At Jorrvaskr

The civil war had started in earnest, but there hadn't seemed much to it. War meant people got hurt more, just trying to do the things they'd normally do. It meant more risk for people like her when they went out to help those that needed it. She'd have to keep her training up to make sure that she was up to the challenge of it all. When she got back to the mead hall, she realized that a few hard training sessions would probably be the best thing for the whole group.

Her friends, family - the Companions - they were showing their restlessness when she got back to Jorrvaskr. Njada and Athis were at each other again, with Skjor keeping a close eye on them from a corner. Aela could feel it, and she was sure that Skjor and Vilkas could too, because they let them fight. They would never hurt each other badly, they knew the rules and were bound as shield-siblings. Like any other family, tensions rose and tempers could flare, but they knew how to get past such tribulations. Her mind wandered as she let things play out, familiar bickering just noise in the background as she lost herself in thought.

There was an unease within her soul, and she knew where it came from. This place, as much as she loved and respected Kodlak, was divided. Though it wasn't acknowledged outright, it made itself known whenever the group convened as one. The Circle was no longer content to be what they were, and she was on the opposing side of their Harbinger and his beliefs. Sovngarde was supposed to be the ultimate place for Nord warriors, a mead hall that only let in those with the purest and bravest of hearts for all of eternity. It sounded much like what she had already in her life, though it lacked the thrill of the hunt, the call of the wild that she so cherished. She welcomed her beast-blood, and didn't bother to think of the afterlife. Things that happened beyond this realm weren't her concern. The Divines would play at games much too big for her comprehension. This life is what mattered to her, what she had control over.

But she heard their concerns, and knew that it troubled Vilkas as well. Farkas didn't say as much about their beast blood, it was for him just another tool like a greatsword, but he would do as his brother did. They were too much of one soul to not be alike in this, and she knew that while Farkas outwardly expressed no dislike of his were gift, Vilkas would do the talking for both of them. That left just she and Skjor who favored their beasthood, and that sat uneasily within her.

Around her, the crowd started to cheer and Aela rose from her seat to get a better view. Her thoughts were abandoned as Njada gave a particularly ferocious punch that sent Athis reeling backwards. She had a good, strong arm that one. They needed more people like her in their group. Though she lacked the temperament to be part of the Circle since they needed to train the newest warriors and teach them, Njada made a good addition to the ranks. She was courageous, strong and smart in battle. Aela had also seen those qualities in the woman that had helped with the giant at Pelegia's farm, but she didn't think too much about it. The fistfight continued under her nose, and she yelled her encouragement out at both of them.

The fight served to distract her, but her eyes slid towards the grand double doors of Jorvaskr when they opened. The Redguard from earlier, Carillia, came through them. She eyed the fight with a dubious look on her face, but then skirted past the cheering crowd and towards Aela. Vignar intercepted her first and spoke with her, probably telling her about his distaste for the Aldmeri Dominion. He told anyone that would listen about how he felt. Whatever he said got a response, but Aela couldn't hear it. The woman started walking again, this time in the direction of the dormitories. So she did intend to seek out Kodlak and test her mettle - that pleased Aela more than it should have. She was just another potential, not even a recruit, but Aela was glad she'd actually shown up. Carillia stopped when she got to Aela and acknowledged her.

"Good to see you again." Carillia said.

Aela nodded, hiding the smile she felt. "And you. I was wondering if you'd show up."

Carillia looked around then turned back to Aela. "Seems like a good place to start here in Skyrim. But I've business with your Harbinger and I'll hold you no longer."

Aela nodded and Carillia moved on, but Aela watched her descend the steps into the living quarters. She couldn't stop the flutter that skittered in her chest as she did.


	5. Awakening

There is moonlight overhead, the dual moons of Nirn strengthening their bond. It's a bond in the blood as much as it a unification through their shared natures. Hircine bestows his blessing quickly, but not all take to the change. It kills those that cannot take it, or breaks their minds so they are all beast and not human. Aela change took, and quickly though she was a huntress long before she became wolf. The ferocity of it all thrums through her, replacing her heartbeat with the sound of war drums even though she is still in her human form. Tonight is a night for another's change, for Carillia's moment. The Circle had decided to let her in, and despite Kodlak's objections - acceptance meant learning and being part of all of their secrets.

She let Carillia take the lead, following her as a shadow in case she needed aid during this first transformation. Whiterun disappeared behind them, and though she was beast, Carillia would go to where they needed her to be. Skjor's scent was strong and he had been close to her during her transformation, she would seek him out as her kin. He would lead them to strike against the Silver Hand, a fitting mission for Carillia's first taste of the moon.

Much had changed in the few months since Carillia had joined the Companions. She was the first new member of the Circle since Farkas, and she'd taken the blood with no hesitation. Aela had agreed to be her forebear with equal readiness. She would have done the same for any, but it held more meaning for her since it was Carillia. Her honor had shown through in every mission she'd undertaken for the Companions. She never failed, never once questioned what they'd asked her to do, and did each task correctly. It was more than many others could claim.

And yet there were whispers that disturbed Aela, and made her wonder about her shield-sister. There were claims that she might be the Dragonborn, with the power of the ancient legends, but Carillia said nothing of it. Though Aela herself was never one to take rumors and gossip seriously, she had heard of the defeat of the dragon near the Western Watchtower, and Balgruuf's housecarl confirmed that Carillia took part in the battle though she never spoke of it. Was it modesty that held her tongue, or something else? 

Her curiosity was out of character, but she never really was that objective where Carillia was concerned. The feelings she had for the other woman were warmer than friendly, though she never let on as much. There was still too much she had to figure out for herself before she let anyone else know her desires. There would be time for them.

The change had gone on for too long in Carillia. Her beast ran wild, still pursuing Skjor's scent. Just as Aela began to worry, Carillia slowed and showed the signs of changing back into her human form. Relief flooded through her. Some didn't come back to themselves after that first, heady transformation. Carillia stood, naked as the day and shivered in the moonlight.

"Are you awake? I was starting to think you might never come back." Aela said. Carillia looked at her and up at the moonlight and laughed. It sounded so free, so wild and unfettered that Aela laughed too, caught up in the moment.


	6. Blood Ties

The beast blood raged through Carillia, and she found herself enjoying it more than she thought she would. There was a deep sadness I'm her heart for Skjor, whom she'd only just learned to recognize as brother before his scent was ripped away from her and vengeance moved into its space. Doing something, anything, that felt effective helped to dampen the pain that she felt. It was as if becoming a werewolf made her more aware of Aela's pain, of the way that Vilkas and Kodlak tried to hide their mourning, of the sadness Farkas couldn't banish. Their pain became her fuel, and lent fire to every sword strike she brought down to punish the Silver Hand. She never wanted to feel Aela in pain again, not if she could help it.

It was a heady thing, being a werewolf. Her body was restless when she was forced to sit at tables for meals, legs jumping under the surface as she ate more than twice her usual amount. Carillia's sense of smell was heightened to the point where she had to avoid certain people, because the stench of their unwashed flesh was too powerful for her to bear. Sleep wasn't as sweet as her need to run under the moon, and sometimes she did, with Aela at her side. 

Farkas stopped her one day as she was about to leave Jorvaskrr on yet another run against the Silver Hand. She was marshaling her rage, thinking about how they would soon be wiped out when he broke into her thoughts.

"Is it for Skjor?" He asked her, his heavy voice quiet so that only she could hear it in the crowded mead hall.

She didn't need to ask him what it was. It was all that she and Aela could talk about these days, sitting together with bowed heads and speaking in hushed tones. It was what bonded them, even more than the beast they both were. Sorrow and anger and outrage forged a stronger link between them, and her heart ached as if she'd known Skjor for years instead of weeks because of Aela's influence.

"For Aela's memory of him. To get back some of what we lost to those bastards. They do nothing while beasts and worse roam the land and terrorize the common folk, but come after us for having strength." Carillia was already angry and her fire worked its way into her words.

Farkas nodded, but didn't answer her. His eyes took measure of her again, just as he had during her first trials. She was different, but he wasn't sure how. He could sense her beast blood, hear her heart beating in her chest and knew her scent, but more than the physical had changed about Carillia.

He stepped aside and let her pass to go about her business. He would have stared after her, but Vilkas put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, brother. That one, as impetuous as she is, can take care of herself." Vilkas said.

Farkas nodded and let himself be led to the table so he could patake of some food. While he was sitting there, Aela met his eyes from her place at the long table. They held his, dark and defiant for a minute before he had to turn away. He wasn't sure what was going on anymore, not at all.

He decided to keep his head down and let Carillia and Aela do whatever it was they were doing in peace. 

#####

Kodlak watched them, but stayed an observer to all. Aela should know better than to look for vengeance, than to retaliate against the Silver Hand, but grief made her insensible. Whenever he looked in her eyes they were hard and flinty, pain intruding where once honor, duty and responsibility dwelled. He knew she was still honorable, still a Companion at heart, even if she had a mind towards revenge.

He would have to talk to Carillia. She would be more receptive, her grief not as deep as that which lay within Aela. He had many reasons to speak with her, not just because of her disturbing retribution on the Silver Hand, but for reasons of his own.

There was so much to explain to her, and little time. Kodak sighed, wishing that it didn't all have to be so difficult. He wasn't sure how long he'd surveyed the dining hall lost in thought, but the people had changed places when he next looked up. 

Taking a seat near Athis, he leaned close to the other man and spoke. "Let everyone know I need to speak with Carillia when she comes back."

Athis nodded, then reached out for a loaf of bread. "Suspect she'll be out for a while, Harbinger."

"I will wait." Kodlak intoned, his manner closing the subject. 

In an hour all of the Companions knew to alert Carillia to see Kodlak once she came back. Aela took the news with a grim face, but promised to tell her friend if she saw her first.


	7. Dragonborn

"What brings you to High Hrothgar?" The innkeeper peered kindly at her as Carillia handed over the gold for her room.

"I've come to climb the steps." She answered, drawing on the old excuse that many must have given in the past.

"Ah, another pilgrim. Be welcome and rest well. It's a long way up to the top of the mountain."

"I might not go to the top." Carillia lied. An instinct of undetermined origin made the lie pass easily through her lips. When she examined it, she could find no better reason than wanting to keep her privacy for as long as she could, though she knew it would be harder once word from Whiterun spread.

"Call it intuition, but you've got that look about you." The innkeeper said. "Grim determination."

Carillia laughed and let him lead her to the small room where she'd sleep. It took her a while to settle into comfort. Ivarstead was far from Whiterun, the inn no comparison to the meadhall of the Companions.

There was more to her life than just being a Companion, but it was the one Carillia thought about most as her days in Skyrim went on. As much as she'd tried to resist it at first, she could have no doubt about it as time wore on - she was Dragonborn, for all that the name encompassed.

Some of the Nords were deferential to her, which often made Carillia uncomfortable. She didn't know much of their lore, but she knew that it was an honor. But as so often happens with honors that are not consciously earned, she felt much like a fraud when people expressed their admiration of her. Others she met were hostile, and at least she could understand the reaction. She was part of the Ra Guarda, an outsider, and Nords were a suspicious lot when it came to foreigners. Some of that she knew was influenced by Ulfric Stormcloak and his ilk, but there was a long history of contention, deep pride and distrust entwined in the current politics. 

Perhaps those two polarized reactions was precisely why she spent so much time with her shield-siblings. The Companions only cared that her arm was strong, that she was dependable, honorable and courageous. Those were her own qualities, not that of the mythical dragonborn. Those traits were the ones she nurtured in her heart, not the ability to shout in the dragon tongue.

She'd left Whiterun to find the Greybeards, after a lengthy delay since Balgruuf had first told her that the thunderous roar she'd heard was their summons. She wanted to do it while she was on the road, while she had time. As much as she was comfortable with Whiterun, both city and hold, she wanted to see more of Skyrim. She hadn't ventured to the vast north to be stuck in one place.

Though she hadn't been truly confined to one place. Her work with the Companions took her further afield than she would have expected, but they truly did serve all of Skyrim's residents. It was more that she kept coming back to the same place, always back to Whiterun. She'd pictured herself having more of an adventure, not just jaunts away from home. 

She knew there was a reason why she was reluctant to strike out away from Jorvaskrr - Aela. Her feelings for the woman had come on hard after their first meeting and grew in intensity instead of diminishing with time and acquaintance. It was getting to be a little embarassing in truth, because Carillia had no idea how the other woman felt, whether or not she even felt attraction at all. Their vendetta left little time for pleasantries, though before she had been friendly enough to the newest recruit, if aloof.

For her part, Carillia found all sorts of people attractive, regardless of how they classified themselves. The sheer intensity of how much she felt connected to Aela was quite different from her past lovers. Always before it had been gradual, a fair amount of flirting and time needed to bring her firmly into the grip of want. Aela didn't hold her feelings too close, but Carillia didn't know how to read them. The bond of sharing shield and battle brought them together, and she literally had taken in the blood of the Huntress to gain Hircine's blessing. But for all that closeness, there was no telling if her own desires were to be returned.

There was no way she could tell, not at the moment. She was far away - first on her own business, then to seek out the witches Kodlak had tasked her to find. In truth she was glad to do it, her heart was no longer in the vengeance. Not that she didn't still despise the Silver Hand, but rather she was tired of her constant war against them. When she got back to Whiterun she would speak with Aela, perhaps get her to talk more about Skjor. Some wounds could only be healed by drawing out the venom and suffering the consequences.

While her thoughts had wondered, she'd been taking off her boots and arms by rote. She could sleep in armor and often did, especially when she was this weary from her time on the road. Her hands skimmed over the warm furs and the relatively soft bed. It called to her and she gave into it readily, knowing that her dreams would follow her thoughts back to Whiterun and Jorvaskrr. It was hopeless, and she didn't care one bit.


	8. First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From the prompt - Five times they kissed and once they didn't. This is the first kiss.

It was the first time they'd kissed. Right after Kodlak's funeral, with the heads of the Glemoril witches still too heavy in Carillia's pack and the acute pain of loss palpable from the Companions. There was much between them, the weight of true sorrow and anguish, and vengeance doused by the weight of sadness. It almost felt like too much for Aela to bear. Too much for the both of them, but guilt rode roughshod over her grief compounded. This could have been prevented, had she not been so rash.

It didn't matter at the moment. The day was for Kodlak's memory, not her own pitiful self-reflection. The hunt always moved on or ended, and hers wasn't over yet. There would be a feast in his memory, the whole of Jorvaskrr groaning with food and free-flowing mead, stories of Kodlak's life and victories told loudly from all corners of the hall. It would be a glorious send off, much larger than the modest feast they'd had for Skjor.

If she did not hold so much love in her heart for Kodlak, she might not have had the strength to endure his celebration. She was thinking on it, gathering her resolve when she noticed that Carillia hadn't moved from the Skyforge. They were alone, the rest of the group dispersed back down towards the mead hall. Carillia had her head bowed and was speaking softly, though Aela couldn't make out the words. She could guess them.

"It wasn't your fault." Aela said, once Carillia was done speaking.

"Wasn't it? Vilkas was right - I should have been here to protect him."

"No. Vilkas spoke in grief. Kodlak asked you to go find the witches and you did. To be here would have been to dishonor his wishes. You didn't bring the Silver Hand down on us."

Carillia gave her a wry smile. "Perhaps that was the two of us then."

"Maybe. I have been thinking on it and while I feel guilt, I can't accept that burden. They would keep coming at us no matter what, even if Skjor hadn't died. They hate what we are. We cannot control their actions, though saying so to myself hasn't yet made it easier to bear." Aela said, her voice husky with emotion. She hoped the words soothed Carillia, though they hadn't done much for her yet.

She turned to go, but Carillia reached out for her. Their embrace was one of comfort, and Aela needed it more than she could say. The warmth of her Shield-Sister made the heat of the nearby forge easier to bear. It was over too soon, Carillia was pulling away from her with gentle tenderness and a pat on the back when Aela brought her back. 

They were kissing, a soft, chaste kiss at first with Aela smothering Carillia's startled surprise with her own lips. Carillia caught up quickly, kissing her back with a ferocity that Aela wasn't expecting. There was something there then, but she was too sad to do more than just enjoy it for that moment. The kiss deepened, and they stood there wrapped in each other until they had to break apart for air. It was then that Aela realized how much faster both of their hearts were beating. She could taste their attraction on the air, and it lessened the burden on her heart.

"Let's go inside." Carillia said softly, after they'd stood across from each other but said nothing for a while. It could have been a minute or mere seconds, Aela was too wrapped up in her feelings to notice the passage of time.

"But we..." Aela started to say, but then stopped and nodded. "We'll speak on this later."

"Definitely." Carillia said. She gave Aela a warm smile then led her back towards Jorvaskrr to join their Shield-Siblings in the mead hall. Today they would say goodbye to Kodlak, but tomorrow was for them.


	9. Ysgramor's Tomb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part of the five times they kissed and once they didn't prompt

There was no time to discuss the two of them, not with Eorland waiting to show them the reformed Wuuthrad. Carillia felt a hollow victory at the sight of the giant axe, thinking of all it had taken her to get the pieces they had lost. Soon her grief and guilt would ebb, but it would take a longer time the passage of hours. She didn't want to lose time, but wanted the feeling to hurry up and morph into something manageable, or at least, not quite as acute and confusing.

She couldn't stop looking at Aela. It was normal to look for comfort after a loss, or so she was told. But that kiss hadn't felt like a balm for loss - it was just the opposite. It was fire between two sets of lips, heat and passion and a depth that could turn into that elusive something, if given the right kind of chance. Those things, they made Carillia want to kiss Aela again and again, to see what came of it until they had to come up for air.

And it just made her feel good, to kiss Aela at last! But she couldn't let that cloud her mind. There was one final thing to do for Kodlak, the way to give him the afterlife he wanted for his departed spirit.

They needed to breach Ysgramor's tomb. It was far to the north of Whiterun, a little farther than Carillia had gone exploring herself, though she had been to Winterhold. The remnants of the Circle took off at once, displaying truly that the Companions had no one master. Those left behind said nothing about their journey, for it was not their business. They went along with their grieving and living, the jobs and challenges that took up their normal days. Carillia thought she could feel the heaviness within them, the expectation settled upon her. Perhaps that was her own projection, but it weighed her down as she started the journey.

With the head of a witch in her pack, Carillia took off on her own towards the tomb. One last thing for the old man, to give him rest. Part of her was excited for the task, the eagerness to move again was within her bones and heart. She was made of things that couldn't be content behind solid walls for long. 

Ysgramor's tomb was like a holy place, and in it were ghosts and truth. Vilkas bowed out first, owning the vengeance and rage in his heart that it stopped him from going on. Farkas could only go as far as the spiders, the beasts made him shiver as he cleaved through them now. They were too much for him after her initiation mission in Dustman's Cairn. So strange that trip was in hindsight. The little jaunt meant to test her mettle had far more wide-reaching effects for the Companions than anyone could have foreseen.

In the end it was just her and Aela, fighting side by side through the tomb to find the flame that would take away Hircine's claim on Kodlak. They made their way to the chamber, the two of them fighting through the ghosts and spirits that lingered and protected. If there was anything Carillia was proud to be part of in Skyrim, it was this group, the Companions. They were as steadfast in death as they were in life.

There was one last chance to speak with Kodlak, more serene in death than she'd ever seen him in life. It was good fortune that Aela had accompanied her, for she heard the words of the the former Harbinger's spirit. She was witness to Carillia's ascension to Harbinger, though not the role of a commander, they were still large shoes to fill.

With the wolf spirit vanquished and the tomb relatively clear of all other foes, Carillia could let the truth sink in. Things were changing, and it was her hope that it was for the better. Kodlak was at peace, and that brought contentment to her own heart. Becoming Harbinger was another hurdle to get over, but she would find her way in time.

What she wanted now was to escape the oppressive tomb and get home to Whiterun. She needed to think, to speak to the Companions, to take time for herself. It was on these thoughts that her mind lingered, and why she was caught by surprise by Aela's gentle hands on her arm.

This time it was Carillia that was swept into the kiss. They met in a crunch of armor, and this time it was nothing like the kiss at the forge. There was triumph in this kiss, and it was hard and hot. Lips met in heated passion and parted, tongues meeting to deepen their kiss in short order. The excitement of their battles clung to them, adrenaline making them reckless, spurring lust. This time they'd won. It wasn't a comfort or commiseration, but a celebration between the two.

When they parted, Aela stepped back and gave Carillia a wide smile. "I would never have believed it if I didn't hear it for myself!" she exclaimed, giddiness overriding her normal cool.

"Let me be the first to say, congratulations, Harbinger." She said, then gave her a curt nod to acknowledge the new role. It seemed a little formal considering Carillia could still taste her on her tongue, but she knew respect when she saw it. Aela was honoring her, as was befitting her new station.

"I don't know what to say. Thank you."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to stay here for a while. Farkas and Vilkas are still in the main chamber. You can tell them I'll be staying for a while, and head back if you like." Aela said. She was looking around at the tomb, studying the walls. 

Carillia didn't know if Aela meditated or communed or simply prayed, but she had a feeling that was what she'd be doing. Part of her wanted to stay, but the act needed privacy, she knew. Besides, Farkas and Vilkas would want to know that they'd succeeded in their mission. Carillia bade Aela goodbye and then wound her way back towards the main chamber. 

Harbinger. The title sounded too lofty, to hard to her ears. it was still meant for Kodlak in her mind, but she knew she would get used to it. Just like 'Dragonborn', it was now part of her life.


	10. Under The Gildergreen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five times they kiss and one time they don't - Kiss number 3

There was no one that came to Whiterun that didn't marvel at the beauty of Kynerath's tree. Now it bloomed magnificently in the city square, but before the Dragonborn it had lain dormant for a time. There were no beautiful blossoms upon the branches, and the priestess had no way of bringing them back. Then she came and fought those filthy Hagravens for the tool that enabled her to get the sap to revive Whiterun's tree. Danica Pure-Spring sang the praises of the Dragonborn after that, and the city guard often spoke of the amazing deed of bringing it back.

So it was fitting that it was beneath the tree that the Dragonborn Carillia and Aela kissed. No one but the two of them heard the words that passed between them. Before then, not many in Whiterun knew that the two women were sweet on each other. Both were admirable warriors and honorable, a good pick for anyone. But they stood there, on the edge of the blossoming tree and spoke in low voices as the sun rose in the sky. 

The kiss was like any other everyday kiss between two people who knew they'd kiss again. It was the prelude to parting, the simple, sweet goodbye of lovers. Perhaps Whiterun hadn't known about the two of them before, but it was clear after that. They were together, in love and even without blessing of Mara, there was a bond. In the shade of the tree she'd brought back to life, the Dragonborn shared something simple and beautiful with Aela the Huntress.

The guard smiled as he walked past them, and thought about going home to his loved ones. There wasn't enough love around Skyrim these days, that was for sure. He was glad to see that war and dragons and madness hadn't run off everything good in the world.


	11. Before the Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five times they kissed and one time they didn't - kiss number 4

Aela didn't think overmuch about her wolf spirit. She'd spent some time in contemplation after they'd freed Kodlak of his unwanted burden, but the wolf never bothered her. If eternity meant going to Hircine's hunting grounds, she was glad to do it. To hunt in this life and the afterlife, it seemed like glory to her, as much as Sovrngarde must seem so to others.

She wasn't the only one that relished the hunt. Carillia loved her wolf almost as much as Aela did. It was rare but gratifying to see one take to it as she had. When Aela and Skjor had talked about initiating Carillia into the Circle, they'd debated for a very long time on how welcome the gift of lycanthropy would be. Farkas and Vilkas had their doubts now, but once they had relished the gift. It was decided that Carillia should know all their secrets, even if she so chose to follow Kodlak later.

But Carillia had never seemed unhappy with her wolf, and Aela was pleased by it. Without Skjor, there was no one else that wanted to run the nights with her, no one to hunt under the moon by her side. The twins had sworn off any sort of behavior that connected them to their wolf forms. She suspected that they were waiting for Carillia to officially be named Harbinger before asking her to cure them. She sighed audibly then stopped herself. Aela wasn't given to sighing as a rule, she found that it wasted energy she'd rather be using for other things.

Carillia was coming up behind her, silent as she came. They were leaving Jorvaskrr, but neither said anything to the other. The night was their refuge, and they needed no confirmation. Once outside the walls of Whiterun they'd change and clear the fields around the city of vermin of both the animal and human kind. Far away from the roads and any legitimate travelers that might be out there, they'd hunt together.

The quiet endured as they departed walls and headed west. Quiet was one of the things Aela liked best about Carillia - she never needed to hear herself talk or engaged in pointless conversation. They were at ease together, neither one inclined to do more than prepare their heads. It was hard to think as a wolf, and easier to give into the beast if no mental preparations were undertaken beforehand. Aela loved her wolf, but did not want it to overwhelm that which defined her as a person.

There was a bandit camp not far from the city, the fires visible in the night. The poor guards always did their best to keep the area clear, but with so many disused towers and abandoned forts, there were more areas than they could keep the bandits away from. Unfortunately, there were always more bandits as well. Poor people that had more bravado than sense and a liking for quick gold. That never came to a good end.

Carillia was also contemplating the fires in the distance and when Aela caught her eye, she nodded. The moonlight gave her an ethereal look, tinting her dark hair slightly silver-grey. She looked like the incarnation of the Daedric Prince Nocturnal, albeit clad in heavy armor.

They would turn when they were closer, storing their armor in a safe alcove nearby. This area was full of protected little recesses, the plains hiding most of its potholes until the unwary were within them.

It was once they were disrobing in their small, sheltered place that Carillia leaned in and kissed her. She caught her by the back of the neck and brought Aela close, giving her a hard, branding kiss. It was strong, meaningful, more than just a lock of lips together. What it meant, Aela couldn't guess. They didn't talk about what they had between them, but it wasn't because she didn't want to, but rather because neither of them seemed to be able to find the words. In truth, Aela hadn't been in love before. She didn't know the nuances and proper protocols, only how she felt. Each day it grew stronger, because more laced with desire and respect and moved from attraction to a deeper attachment.

The kiss was brief as it was hard, and for a moment Aela was stunned by the end of it. She was half-clad in her armor and when it was done, Carillia went back to undressing herself. Aela stood there, naked from the waist up in the moonlight, waiting for Carillia to explain. When she turned back around, she was completely naked save for a smiled aimed at Aela.

"You just looked beautiful in the moonlight." Carillia said simply. It was explanation enough.


	12. Welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five times they kissed and once they didn't - Kiss number 5

Skyrim was a place full of strange and mysterious things, not all of them good. Carillia knew that the world was much larger than she'd known it to be when she lived in Hammerfell, that all good was balanced by its other half, things bad and evil and corrupt. It was all of this that spurred her desire to travel, to see and be part of more of the world.  She'd wanted to be more than she could have imagined back in those days, when she was kept from seeing so much.

Skyrim was vast, sometimes with large stretches of uninterrupted nothing between the cities. She liked it that way, and knew that most of the Nords did too.  It had a beautiful brand of starkness to it, a loneliness that was graceful.  There were times when there wasn't much more than mountains, snow or trees and their path. They had a path that wound between holds, to cities and towns and small bandit camps. Some long ago king or queen must have commissioned the roads made, but hardly anyone maintained them now and it seemed like even less used them.

But it was on one of those highways where she stopped and thought of Aela. Carillia often had business away, and Aela had been gone on her own mission to help someone in Winterhold be rid of a beast in their house. Aela always remained in her thoughts, no matter how far from the mead hall she traveled.  She wanted to get back to Whiterun, to see her again. With each passing day her feelings for Aela grew more clear. She cared for her, deeply and wanted more than just their shared kisses and few moments. But marriage wasn't something she knew how to go about setting up, and she knew nothing of the customs in Skyrim. She wasn't even sure if marriage was something Aela desired. Just thinking on it made her nervous, and she bit into her full lower lip and tasted snow on it. They needed to talk about it, but the words escaped her when they were together.  It was all just so unsure, and she so inexperienced that it was comical.  She'd had sex before, not love, not a relationship.

It was a week later she got back to Whiterun and found that Aela had just beaten her there. There was much to do back in the city, the whole of the Companions were waiting for the two of them to return. With so many people waiting, there was little chance of them being alone together. Companions business would hardly wait for her desires.

So it was a complete surprise when Aela came down to her room and helped her move her few things into the Harbinger's quarters. There were only a few trips needed, she kept little at Jorvaskrr and the room was still full of Kodlak's belongings. But it was a kind gesture, one that gave them a chance to be alone together. When they were done, Carillia smiled tentatively at Aela, hoping she would break the silence.

She didn't, not with words. Instead she leaned in and kissed her, so light it felt like their breath was kissing and not their lips. A blush colored Aela's face as she drew away, and Carillia wasn't sure why. She stayed still hoping for more, but another kiss didn't come.

"I wanted to welcome you back, Harbinger." Aela said softly, then disappeared through the door behind her, leaving Carillia to her own thoughts in her new room.


	13. Ceremony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five times they kissed and once they didn't - wanting a kiss doesn't make it so

The ceremony was simple, but meaningful. It was to let all of the people know that one Harbinger had gone to rest and another had been called to fill the roles. It was a great honor, but honor and the Companions were words so often used together.

What Carillia hadn't known beforehand was that the whole of Skyrim would be invited and many of them would show up. It felt like most of Whiterun was crammed in the closest, the faces she saw littering the marketplace and in Dragonsreach were now chief among those that were standing around her. 

The Companions formed a circle in the center of the mead hall, all faces turned towards her. Vignar spoke words, telling of their origins and their history. The hall was silent as he wove the story in his gravelly voice, speaking of Ysgramor and all the Harbingers that came before her. The words he intoned rolled over the crowd, filling her with pride. The Companions were a group deserving their honor, stretching from the old ages into the future. She hoped that she could add to their glory.

In turn, each of the Companions acknowledged her as Harbinger, and she reaffirmed them as her Shield-Siblings. Each face looked at her and spoke old words, but none held more meaning that Aela's. There was pride there and determination. She took this seriously, as they all did, but it held more meaning for the both of them. The words were more than just rote when Aela said them, and her affirmation of their status as Shield-Sisters burned hot on her tongue.

When it was done and the whole of the crowd looked on Carillia as the new Harbinger, the only face Carillia wanted to find was Aela's, but she was no where to be seen. Maybe later they might find a place away from the people, the crowd, the ceremony and speak plainly for once. But as the crush of people milled around her, eager to talk and congratulate, it seemed like a vain hope.


	14. Uncertainly Together

She wasn't sure why she'd come to Carillia's room that night, of all nights she might have picked. The ceremony to introduce and affirm her as Harbinger was lengthy and public and would have taken much from anyone. The people had stayed in the mead hall much later than normal, reveling their choice of Harbinger and honoring those gone. The whole city was Whiterun was bustling with visitors and activity even after the sun fell. She was sure that the Bannered Mare and the Drunken Huntsmen were both doing a rolling business.

But Aela did go to Carillia's room, the Harbinger's room. She did knock on the door and was let in and pleased to be there. A tired smile of welcome came from Carillia, and a questioning look. It was late, but they never did pay much attention to the time.

She wanted to be there, right then, with Carillia. Those words are stupidly hard to say, so very difficult to articulate most days. Maybe that's why she chose the night, that night.

"Is everything alright?" Carillia asked, looking concerned as Aela stood in the room, unspeaking and intent.

"Be with me." Aela had no other way to couch the words, no pleasing way to dress them up. It's all she can offer, blunt, honest and too much. "I want to spend the night with you."

Carillia is better at hiding her shock than Aela would have been, had the situation been reversed. Her face is calm, almost passive as she considers Aela. The quietness, her lack of open response, those are the only things that make Aela hesitate. Silence was almost a 'no'. 

But Carillia set aside a book that Aela hadn't seen on her lap and crossed the room to her. The room felt almost ridiculously big in that moment. The amount of steps needed to close the distance between them far greater than she could have guessed. Carillia did all the walking, Aela just standing there, glued to the spot where she made her pronouncement. Perhaps she should have said something before, about love or honor and commitment, but she couldn't. The words never fit in her mouth, and the timing was always wrong. 

Coming to her this night would be significant, despite the obvious fatigue that would hound them both. It would show that she had intentions long before her confirmation, and that the change in title didn't matter to her. At least, that was what Aela was hoping that Carillia would get from this. She couldn't know, wasn't sure herself of how it would look. All she really knew was that she needed, she wanted, and tonight she was bold enough to reach out.

"You want to be with me?" Carillia's voice was soft, the sound of it like a down pillow under her head. She picked up one of Aela's hands and caught it in both of hers. The warmth of her palms spread through Aela, easing away some of the awkwardness and unease that she felt.

"I wanted you to know tonight, that I want you. Just you." Aela said. As soon as the words were out, she scolded herself. They were clumsy, ill-suited to the moment, but they were all she had.

"Alright." Carillia said, and kissed her.

The kiss wasn't like the ones they'd shared in the past. It was loaded, because there was intent behind it that spoke of long-dormant passion, of things that weren't said. The kiss was more than just lips or tongue, but breath, breathing the air of another as part of an intimate exchange. Hands were on hips, in hair, pulling the other closer as their tongues caressed, cradled and danced together. They were as close as they could be with their armor in the way and it wasn't close enough. There wasn't enough skin, there was too much heat and the kiss continued as they sought to remove these obstacles. 

Her hands were quick at unfastening her own armor, but she let Carillia have a try at it, just to feel her hands on her. Knowing that she wanted, that she felt the same way; it was almost intoxicating. Aela pulled her face closer with a hand to the back of her neck, bringing Carillia in for another kiss. It was hard and desperate, a biting kiss that let her taste Carillia's full lower lip before she pulled away.

Soon the fumbling was too much for both of them, and they divested themselves of their armor without further help. It was quicker that way, especially since Aela knew little about the fancy armor Carillia had worn for the ceremony. Once the heavy pieces were off, then came all the underclothes. Hunting and traveling together had given her more than a few chances to see Carillia in the nude, but Aela was almost overcome by the sight of her. Her body was lean and quick, with high, small breasts topped with dark nipples. She had trim thighs and long legs. There were scars on her torso and arms, more old ones than those that looked new. Hair the color of obsidian brushed her bronze shoulders as she stood there, waiting, watching her. She was more gorgeous than Aela could properly describe. Then again, she was nothing with words or they'd have been here sooner.

Before Aela could do more than look, Carillia made her way over to her. Hands ran over her own skin, examining the curves and planes of her own body. Her touch was electric, exciting and demanding, making Aela's nerves stand on end. Every touch was stoking the heat within, making her wetter.

Carillia led her to the bed, because Aela had lost the sense to do it on her own. She laid her down on the furs and covered her body in kisses. Her mouth skimmed over her jaw and neck, making a trail down her chest before capturing her breast. The feeling of Carillia's mouth on her breast was exquisite, the soft touch of gentle lips to her hard nipples, the teasing of her tongue tracing circles around it. Aela heard herself murmuring words, but didn't know what she was saying. Want was making her insensible.

What she did know was that she wanted to touch Carillia. She wanted to kiss and stroke and tease with agile fingers and soft lips. She let herself be caught up in the whole of it, to stop thinking and just feel it all. When her instinct took over, it served better than her overwrought brain. Aela returned Carillia's affections, but let her take the lead. Lips brushed across her breasts and stomach, down her thighs and the backs of her knees. All the touches were gentle but skilled. It was not her first time loving, but it had been a while and Aela appreciated the slowness of it all.

Wet kisses peppered the insides of her thighs and her tongue moved up and down, licking trails on her flesh. Aela was enjoying the kisses, the attention to her skin and the build up of sensation that it took her by surprise when Carillia slipped a finger inside of her. She had clever, slender fingers and hands. It was one finger, but she clenched tight around it, awash in pleasure at the sensation of it. Carillia worked the digit in and out, then up and down her damp slit, and then plunged two fingers back inside of her. Aela moaned at the renewed sensation, warmth radiating from her core. All of her was thrumming, desire beating its own pulse in her skin. She heard her own strangled scream as Carillia finally leaned in and put her lips to Dibella's pearl, sucking at the engorged nub while moving her two fingers inside.

She knew she wasn't going to last, at least this initial onslaught was going to bring her to release quickly. It must have been apparent to Carillia as well, because she redoubled her efforts, sucking and licking at her, fingers pumping in and out. A hand rested on her belly, like it was holding her down, covering the heat coiling inside. That hand with its light pressure, that was what tipped her over. Aela senses were heightened and every feeling combined, the persistent gentleness of Carillia's touches, of her tongue and fingers and lips, all of it made her crash hard. Her hands curled in the furs, grabbing onto whatever she could and holding on for dear life. When she came, she cursed because it felt too bright, too much to be anything good and she cursed because it was all she could do.

It took a few minutes for the ground to stop shaking under her, for her vision to clear. Aela's senses remained too high as if she the rest of her couldn't be bothered to return to normal. Every inch of her was singing and she knew her face was plastered with the lazy smile of an overfed kitten. She couldn't have helped it if she wanted. Carillia came up and gave her a kiss, her lips still covered in Aela's wetness. It was so wonderful to hold her, to kiss her in the aftermath.

Carillia didn't intend to let her rest. Her hand snaked back down Aela's body and began to pluck at Dibella's pearl once more. Nimble fingers stroked the hardened bead, just as Carillia's mouth captured the nearest nipple and sucked hard on it. The two actions combined shot a jolt of renewed lust straight through Aela's overstimulated body, and made her cry out. It was too much, too fast, but she didn't want anything less. She lay there limp and let Carillia take her again, the hard suckling on her peaks bringing her intense waves of pleasure combined with the skillful rubbing of her pearl, rolling it between calloused fingertips until she couldn't tell which sensation was coming from where and it was all too good, too much. White hot and intense, her second climax broke over her like the wrath of a Divine. She came again with a bucking cry, one that didn't even contain anything articulate.

Several long moments passed before Aela was able to move her limbs again. Carillia was still there, carefully stroking her, kissing her softly on the shoulder and arm. It was sweet, but Aela could see the desire still clouding Carillia's dark eyes. Waiting hadn't diminished her own want, and now it was Aela's turn.

She shifted and let Carillia fall back onto the bed. Aela wanted to kiss her all over, to taste her skin with ready lips and find the spots that made Carillia gasp. She set about her task with gusto, indulging in a long kiss on the lips, tongues mingling until they were both left panting. Aela nipped at her jaw, raked blunt teeth over the length of her neck and tongued the hollow of her collarbone. She relished every bit, every inch she could taste and touch so intimately. When she kissed the valley between Carillia's breasts, then she was rewarded with a shuddering sigh - she'd finally found a sweet spot. She planted another kiss there and then eagerly took a dark nipple in her mouth, suckling at it until Carillia squirmed pleasurably beneath her, moaning softly. Then she moved over to the next one and repeated it.

Aela wanted to taste her next. Unlike Carillia, she wasn't going to draw it out with kisses to her thighs, with soft touches. Her personality shown through, bold as ever as she dove headfirst between Carillia's legs. She didn't want to eat her - she wanted to devour her. Her tongue flattened against her, rubbing an unyielding line up and back down again, tasting the length of her slit. Wetness seeped from Carillia in response and Aela repeated it until she couldn't any more, folds too slick for her to get purchase against them. A finger slid inside Carillia's perfect tightness, and Aela concentrated her lapping tongue on Dibella's pearl. It was hooded but she nudged it out with fingers and tongue and nose, brushing at it to tease it into prominence. When she sucked on it, Carillia gasped as though air couldn't reach her lungs.

It was short work after that. Carillia rocked against her face, and Aela sucked and fingered her until she could feel the first eddies of release building in her body. She tensed underneath her, but then it all sprang at once. Her release was loud, almost joyous and it bounced around the walls. Had there been any question what they were doing in her room that night, there was none after that. Everyone in Jorvaskrr had to have heard it, but Aela found that she didn't care about that. This night wasn't about other people - that was what the day had been for. She let Carillia cry out her pleasure, tracing lines across her skin as it dissolved into easy waves and then into breaths that were hard to control down to almost nothing at all but languor. The two of them shared a smile.

Once again she moved, but this time she aligned herself directly with Carillia, making sure that they were aligned and then lifted one of her legs. She liked this angle best, and wanted to rub her sex against Carillia's - the pleasure it gave was exquisite. Carillia seemed to know her intent just before they touched and she titled up towards Aela. That first friction of their bodies together was amazing, addicting. She moved with sharp, small movements that make the both of them gasp. Both of them were still dripping and when they ground against each other, the wetness mingled and gave Aela a thrill of pleasure. It was such a small, intimate act. 

They moved faster, more frantically. Carillia grabbed Aela's waist, pulling her closer, her hands then sliding down to squeeze her ass. There were nails digging into her skin, and Aela could feel the both growing closer to finishing, each thrust of their hips harder and more pointed, more pleasure with economy of motion. Then it was Carillia first, another loud and exuberant proclamation to the rafters that she'd found pleasure that night. But even as she came, her movements didn't stop. She was intent on making Aela come as well, and she did, right on the heels of Carillia's climax. The third time would never be as intense as the first, but it was just as welcome and she let it wash over her, warmth radiating from where their bodies met.

Divines, but she was exhausted. Aela fell against the bed, sated and sensitive, her skin too warm against the furs. Carillia gathered her into a kiss, hot and messy and so perfect it made her breathless. There was nothing to do but sleep, the fatigue of the day and of so much bedroom activity catching up to her. There was a flash of insecurity that jolted her out of her fog and made her sit up straight in the bed. Carillia cracked open a questioning eye at her sudden movement.

"You aren't going to kick me out tonight, are you?" Aela asked. She didn't want to leave Carillia's bed, didn't have the heart to slink back to her own room. There was insecurity there still, even after all they'd shared. They hadn't actually talked, now that she thought on it, but she hadn't come there to talk.

"Never." Carillia said sleepily, and threw an arm around her. "Besides, there's always the morning to consider. I'd hate to have to drag you back."

She sealed her words with another kiss and a drowsy smile. Aela was placated enough to get to sleep that night, but wondered if that was all it meant to her. Her head was too heavy for such weighty thoughts, and her body too tired. She fell asleep not noticing how tightly Carillia held her, or the kiss she placed on her brow.


	15. Being Harbinger

Being Harbinger wasn't much different than just being part of the Companions, save for the bigger room and title. The others sought her out more often for counsel, but there were no demands placed on her to lead the group and nothing that fell to her shoulders that she could not bear. There were times that it made her feel older than her years, but she had many experiences to her name and could help, so that was all that really mattered. Not many people could say they've fought dragons, not even those among the legendary Companions. 

It was easy to acclimate to the role, and it eased her mind that it was less demanding than she'd anticipated. Since Kodlak hadn't much left the mead hall, Carillia had worried that the others would want her constant presence, but that wasn't the case. As long as some of the Circle was in residence, things churned along as usual, receiving jobs and assigning them, and doling out the pay afterwards.

There were so many outside problems weighing down on her these days, it made her long for any time she could spent in Whiterun uninterrupted. There was the war, which she was going to have to pick a side in any of these days, and the increasing number of dragons. Vampires were now plaguing the cities, and she'd heard about the Dawnguard reforming to deal with them, and Carillia wanted to look into that too. Events were conspiring to take away from her routine and comfort, but that was what happened to warriors. 

All the cities of Skyrim were suffering in this war. Though the Companions as a group were neutral on any conflict, she had heard more than a few opinions about the war and whom people sided with. Her own thoughts were kept close to her chest - she still felt new to Skyrim, though it had been long enough since she'd first come off that cart in Helgen.

Athis knocked her door, and she bade him enter. Just that morning he'd been fighting with Njada again, the two of them nearly coming to blows over breakfast. There was nothing for him to do at the moment, but Carillia had an idea. Whiterun was starving in this war, as she was sure were many of the other cities in Skyrim. Only the Bosmer in the market seemed to be going out to hunt, and he was just one man. 

"Come in, Athis." Carillia said, waving him towards a chair. "How about you do a job for me and Whiterun?" She was going to frame this a chance to be a hero and she needed him to be on board from the first word. 

Being Harbinger wasn't always the most glamorous of jobs, but it was perfect for her. She could make a difference, and the Companions could still be honorable. There was nothing more honorable than fighting for people that couldn't in a war, going against the forces that conspired to let people starve while others tried to topple each other for titles and glory.

Athis over looked at her with narrowed eyes. Wary and guarded, but interested. She would take it and let him and Ria wear themselves out hunting game to present to the Jarl. The people of Whiterun would thank the Companions later, she was sure of it.

"What do you have in mind?" He asked, and Carillia smiled.


	16. Curing the Twins

The wolf was not for everyone. Of those that lived through the transformation, some still lost themselves to it. They became animals, and had to be hunted by their clan. Like true dogs, they became the worst examples. Others preferred the messy, feral way of life and became outcasts. It affected the human part, making sleep less easy to slip into and changing the taste of food. Aches and pains came with the great strength it bestowed, and Carillia was aware that she smelled of dog all the time. All the same, she liked being a werewolf. 

She'd always known that Farkas and Vilkas didn't like being werewolves any more. Whatever gift it had been upon the giving was long gone for the two of them. Although she suspected that Vilkas led Farkas once he decided that he no longer wanted to be a were. Who led who didn't much matter to Carillia, but that they were unhappy with their wolf did. She knew it had troubled the twins as it had Kodlak. It had been what Vilkas was speaking to the old Harbinger about when she first came to Jorvaskrr, just after encountering Aela on the road. Even she had to admit, the lycanthropy was a gift that was not always a boon.

What Carillia hadn't anticipated was that Aela would be profoundly upset by her decision to help cure them. It was first Vilkas, then Farkas that came to her wishing to be rid of their lycanthropy. Vilkas had approached her only when she had his trust, after they slew a dragon together. He was slower to like her than anyone else in the Companions, save Njada. She'd never been interested in being friendly until she'd become Harbinger, then she was all smiles. Carillia would never like her.

It wasn't long after she and Vilkas returned to the mead hall that Farkas asked for her help. He had been quiet for many days preceding the request and didn't make it until he was sure. There was no lightness in the soft-hearted warrior as he asked her to help him get rid of his wolf spirit, just regret. It made her sad to see, and she agreed. The sooner he could be rid of his unwanted spirit, the happier they both would be.

Again she journeyed to Ysgramor's tomb, for the third time to complete the ritual. She was sure that neither she nor Aela would want to do it, and didn't have to worry about running out of witch heads. There was enough for this, to lift the curse from those who didn't wish to bear it. All the others were either gone or dead at this point.

Aela cornered her when she got back to Whiterun, a cleansed and relieved Farkas in tow. She could feel the glare across the mead hall as she ate her dinner, but said nothing. The Huntress was not one to hold back her words, except perhaps were her feelings were involved.

As expected, Aela came down to her room that night to raise her point. Carillia realized that she'd been waiting for her, preparing herself for an argument. She'd come downstairs and slammed her own door.

"Why did you take them to Ysgramor's tomb?" Aela asked, anger making the words hard.

"They asked, Aela. I cannot deny them a cure just because we enjoy being wolves," she explained.

"This gift is not something to be cast off when it no longer what you like! Hircine's pledge cannot be taken back like some milk-drinker's strained promise!"

Carillia crossed her arms. "i broke no oath in helping them. They took up the blood under false pretenses, not knowing that it would bind them to Hircine. Not everyone wants that."

"How would you know? You weren't even here!"

"I know because both of them came to speak to me about it. They didn't come to me on a whim. This has been on their minds for ages. Let it go, Aela. Whatever offense it causes you is your own and has nothing to do with the twins. They are free from their wolves, but it sounds like yours is ruling you."

The last part had come out unintentionally, but it hung in the air. Carillia bit her lip, wishing she could take it back. There was no point in insulting Aela, but she was tired and didn't want to make this speech. The Companions were their own people, free to do as they willed. Moreover, she had few friends and helping the twins had placed them among that number. She liked them. Vilkas had a quiet authority that was both reassuring and powerful. Farkas had kindness and strength in spades and was unstinting with both. There were few around like them.

Whatever she wished, Carillia didn't take the words back. Aela was not the type to run away from a fight, so she clammed up until she could figure out what to say next. There were times when her emotions were too great and she needed a while to find the words, but they always came.

They sat in silence for a while, until Carillia reached over and touched Aela's hand. "I do not wish to be rid of the wolf. You are not alone." 

The words weren't meant as an apology, but as explanation. She didn't know if they were what Aela needed, but she did know that change never came easily. Too many changes in a short time made people scared and angry. Aela was just people like everyone else, but a person that had watched much change in the mead hall.

There was just the two of them left, and though it shouldn't matter to Aela if Carillia was a wolf or not, it did. They shared the last bond of the old Circle between the two of them. Night had seen them hunt together as wolves, had brought them closer. In her mind to be moon-born was to run with a pack, and Aela was losing her pack. 

"I was worried." Aela admitted. "And I did not like that Farkas and Vilkas could so easily give up their wolves."

"Do not think it was easy. Farkas faced a very tough fight. There was nothing simple in it, neither in coming to the decision or facing it. They both struggled." Carillia got up and paced the room, thinking of a solution.

"Go speak with them in private. Reaffirm the bonds of the Circle. That is all we should need anyway. It was all the Companions of old needed. We are still Shield-Siblings." 

Aela nodded at her words, then broke into a wide grin. "This is why Kodlak wanted you to be the Harbinger. Good advice, and an even temper."

Carillia was uncharacteristically moved by the comment. If had it come from anyone but Aela she wouldn't have been. "Then why can't we get it together, Aela?"

"Matters of the heart are another thing entirely." Aela responded, her voice kind. "I care for you, Carillia."

"And I you." She said. "A great deal."

"Then let it be at that. There is only so much honesty a day can hold."

Carillia gave Aela a wry smile. "Now who is the wise one? Go on and take care of your business with the twins." She hesitated and then asked, "will I see you tonight?"

Aela hadn't thought about it before, only her own conflict about the breaking of her pack. But once the question was asked, there was no reason not to.

"Yes, you will."

"Then I shall bathe, I think." Carillia said and both women exited the room. The Harbinger went to find bathwater, and Aela went to begin the slow process of renewing bonds that had too long depended on blood and shared secrets.


	17. Seeking Divine Grace

The Temple of Kynareth was in Whiterun, yet Aela rarely ever visited it. The place was for the sick and the out of sorts, but she felt as if she numbered among them these days. Her spirit was flagging and it was showing in everything she did. Vilkas had kindly suggested that she take some time to think, clear her head and get back on her hunting game. it was embarrassing that he even had to say anything at all, but she knew he meant well. If her bow would not shoot true, it was likely her fault.

Carillia was at the root of her problems, but not because she didn't care. Aela knew after their night together that she did care about her, they had feeling that ran deep, but neither of them seemed to know where to go next with it. It made her wonder again if Carillia was married back in Hammerfell or something like that. Maybe there was another wife or husband, children or some vow that she couldn't break. They never spoke about it. There were so many things that she wanted to ask about that they never got around to saying.

Her heart was heavy as she sat on a bench in the temple, watching the priestess ease the real pain of those around her. Why had she come here? She didn't need healing, not like they offered in the temple, but it had called to her and she'd gone.

"What troubles you, Huntress?" Danica Pure-Spring came over to where Aela sat and sat down heavily on the bench next to her. The motion seemed weary, and Aela looked over at her. There was much tiredness behind her eyes.

"I am not ill, Priestess. I find that my mind is burdened with thoughts I can't resolve."

Danica nodded at her. "Many times our minds and hearts are connected. Is there trouble between you and your lover?" She was perceptive and had noticed Aela's hangdog look and the numerous absences of the Dragonborn.

"It might not even be right to call her my lover." Aela bit her lip in thought before continuing. "But I wonder about her past, and why we do not wed. It was my thought that it might be connected, that there is something keeping her from asking me to take Lady Mara's vows."

"Or," Danica offered the words gently, knowing how it might hurt to hear, "she just simply may not know to ask. Have you brought it up? Does she know the ways of marriage in Skyrim?" 

Aela shook her head, unsure. Danica went on. "She is an outsider to our land. It could simply be that she has never worshipped Mara and does not know to wear her amulet. I suppose that you do not do it yourself because you are afraid that she won't want to be wed."

Aela nodded miserably. Danica patted her hand and got up. "Perhaps it is time you tell her about Lady Mara's vows. Ask her to go to Riften if you don't want to do it yourself. Maramal is often walking about the town, spreading her grace. I will write to him and make sure that he speaks with her when she is there."

As a rule, Aela disliked not doing things directly, but Danica was right. She was scared of rejection in this case. She let the priestess write the offered letter and thanked her profusely, then left the temple. It may not have offered all the relief she needed, but her step was definitely lighter as she went back to the mead hall.


	18. A Conversation

"Who do you favor in the Civil War?" Carillia asked as Aela sat in her bed. They never talked about politics, at least they hadn't yet.

But there they were, sitting together in the room with the door open. There were still hours until either would go to bed, and Carillia wanted to talk. Their lack of conversation on things other than themselves and Companions business concerned her. There was more life than what happened around Whiterun or in their hearts.

Aela thought for a moment, her eyes narrowing as she did. "I don't favor Ulfric, though I understand his frustration." Aela started. "And I'm not happy with the Empire."

"I think that few people are at this point. Vignar's not the only one upset about the White-Gold Concordant." Carillia said. The elder Grey-Mane was always voicing his opposition to the Empire and their policies. There was an element of liking to grumble that came into his rants as well, but the point was valid. Many were upset at Imperial capitulation to the Dominion's demands, but it was already done.

"I was in the Imperial City for a short while." Carillia said. "The Dominion sacked a great deal of it. They were brutal in the war. It's harder to understand when you stay in Skyrim, but they were losing. If they hadn't made the Concordant, things would be a lot worse."

"That may be true, but what was the point in making us give up Talos worship?" Aela asked.

Carillia shook her head. "I don't know, but I don't think it's worked very well, do you? Heimskr is still out there, preaching away with Balgruuf's tacit permission. They didn't really win here. I guess that's what makes me more suspicious of Ulfric than sympathetic."

"Windhelm is a mess." Aela pronounced. "I can't see letting a man run the whole of Skyrim if his own hold isn't in order. The way he has it set up there, with the Grey Quarter and the Argonians, I can't see a man like that being a fair leader."

"I agree." Carillia said. "It always bothered me that once I got to Skyrim, the Khajiit are forced to stay outside the city walls."

"Aye, that is shameful. I wonder who would be the one to change that, whether it would need to come from Elisif or one of the other Jarls." 

While it pleased Carilia that they were in agreement about the war, she wondered more about Aela. "Do you still worship Talos?" She asked.

"Of course. No one tells me what to believe and what not. I do as I please."

"Talos worship wasn't part of my life as I grew up. We were raised differently in Hammerfell. My brother is a Alik'r warrior. He respects our old ways. If he is free to respect our old ways, then Nords should be free to follow theirs."

"I didn't know you had a brother." Aela said, giving her a sidelong look.

Carillia was startled by the revelation. "Why yes. I thought I'd mentioned him to you before. An elder brother, one who wanders the sands of Hammerfell in the ancient tradition."

"My father still lives out the woods, and I see him from time to time. He never liked cities. He's all that I have left; my mother died when I was young, but she too was a Companion." Aela said.

"Will you see your father again soon?" Carillia asked.

"Probably. I should go to check in on him. He will be eager to hear of all the changes that have come about, though I don't relish telling him of Kodlak's death."

"What will you say of me?" Carillia was curious. If Aela hadn't seen her father since before Kodlak had died, she may not have mentioned her.

"That you are gone to Riften." Aela said firmly. "And that I will be glad when you return."

"Am I going to Riften?"

"Yes. You should speak to Maramal there. Things will become clearer."

She was confused, but nodded anyway. "If you say so."

Aela clarified, "this isn't Companion business, but it needs to be done."

That explanation didn't illuminate things any further for Carillia, but she let it be. They drifted into silence and she found that it was more comfortable after their conversation. They may not be able to find the words to say to each other all the time, but seemed to understand one another. That was more comforting than she felt like she deserved, but it eased her as she started out on the road to Riften the next morning.


	19. An Amulet of Mara

It was early enough in the day that Aela didn't hear any noise from above her head, but she rolled onto her back anyway. She looked up at the ceiling as if it might tell her the time. It did not. What she did discover that was that she was alone in the room, the side of the bed where Carillia'd slept free of her person. There was no noise in the room, no sound of another person breathing or engaged in some mostly silent activity. There was no tell-tale rustling of book pages or a scratching of quill against paper.

She was alone. Aela sat up, looking around to confirm what she already knew. Her hearing was excellent, as it was for any werewolf. There was no one else around. Carillia had departed some time earlier, and didn't seem to have left a note indicating where she'd gone.

The night before Carillia had come back from Riften. If she'd met Maramal or any other priest of Mara there, she didn't say. When she came into town, Aela had carefully inspected her neck, hoping to see the Amulet of Mara hanging there. It had not been. She had checked thoroughly later on that night, after taking off all Carillia's clothes and making sure.

Perhaps her talk with the priestess of Kynareth had been for nothing. If Carillia didn't have an amulet now, it wasn't because she didn't know about the ways of marriage in Skyrim. They had once spoken about the subject together. Aela mentioned it and Carillia brought up neither an objection or obstacle to their further commitment. Indeed, Carillia had seemed to welcome the idea.

Still, there was nothing this morning to indicate success, not even a hint of the woman herself. Aela got up and dressed, putting on her underarmor so she could go back to her own room and wash for the day.

When she ascended the stairs for breakfast, Vilkas came over to her. "I have a message for you, Aela. The Harbinger had business early this morning with the Jarl, but says she wants to speak with you later."

Aela nodded at him. "Thank you." Her voice was cooler than she felt inside, but she was sure none of her emotion showed on her face. 

Vilkas, his job done, departed. She heard him talking to someone, instructing them, but didn't turn her head to see to whom he spoke. She let herself get lost in her own thoughts. It was clear that the roundabout approach wasn't yielding the results she wanted. Maybe it was her turn to go and get an Amulet of Mara and settle this outright for once. She would give Carillia some time to consider, then get her own amulet if nothing happened. The plan made her feel better. Any kind of action was preferable to sitting around, but Aela hadn't wanted to pressure Carillia before.

It was just that they were so good together. She loved her so much. Things like this - such relationships - didn't often happen to her. There were few enough people in Skyrim, let alone those that she agreed with, respected and enjoyed physically. Carillia was special to her, and Aela wanted her to be with her forever. That realization hadn't come easy to her, and the words were still tripped up on her tongue. But she'd hoped that she'd conveyed it to her in other ways, not just in her fumbled words and lovemaking. 

The past was the past. Whatever Carillia hadn't told her didn't much matter at this point. She could have been anyone in Hammerfell, anyone at all from a priest to a princess, and it wouldn't matter to Aela's heart. That she hadn't told her about herself, hadn't offered any explanations fueled Aela's hesitation. Only the scant fact that she had a brother in Hammerfell was all Aela knew of Carillia's past. If there was something holding her back, it was there and it was hidden from Aela.

She let the thoughts pass in favor of action for the day. There was much to be done in Jorvaskrr, and she had her own student to train. Ria wasn't anything special with a bow when she joined the Companions, but she was getting better all the time. They had their coaching session outside at the targets, Aela easing her through some more focused shots. 

Carillia was as good as her word. She came back that evening and had dinner in the mead hall. Their Harbinger checked in with everyone, offering counsel where needed. Aela admired that she was hands on yet didn't need to always be there hovering over everyone. She had a good style of being Harbinger, informal and friendly that made her approachable. Plus it didn't hurt that they knew she fought her own rough battles whenever she went out. An active hand went a long way in garnering respect.

That night, Aela knocked on Carillia's door. It was strange to knock on her door and see the bed she'd woken up in that morning. The door swung open at her knock, and revealed no one inside. 

"I think she's gone to her house, dear." Tilma said, coming up behind Aela from nowhere.

"Breezehome?"

"Yes, I believe that was where she was going. You could try to catch up to her, or check with her housecarl to see if she is there."

Aela shook her head, thanked Tilma and went to her room. There was a note on the bed for her. 

Aela -   
I spoke with the priest in Riften. Let's talk about this away from the mead hall. Come to Breezehome, I've given Lydia the night off.

Carillia

The night air was cool on her face as she stepped out of Jorvaskrr. The guards nodded as she went by, but no one spoke to her. It would have been a good night for hunting. 

Breezehome was a short walk once she passed the market. The door was unlocked, a shout telling her to enter sounded when she knocked. 

"Aela?" Carillia's voice called out. 

"It's me."

"Come upstairs!" Carillia shouted. 

She mounted the stairs warily, wondering what all of this was about. If they were going to talk, they should have done it sooner. Dread filled her gut, making each step heavy. Perhaps they were breaking up and Carillia wanted to do it away from all the ears of the Companions. The thought saddened Aela.

But when she got there, Carillia was in bed waiting for her. A smile spread across Aela's face as she took in the scene. Candles were lit all around her, the room smelled of freshly burned incense and mint. But best of all, Carillia was there, waiting. Her love was wearing the amulet of Mara and nothing else. 

It was the best proposal she could have hoped for.


	20. After the Wedding

A kiss between wives, sweetly meeting with such titles for the first time. Wed. Carillia didn't know what to think, knew nothing except that she was happy. Finally, she and Aela had gotten it together. They had mucked through enough that they were able to understand what the other wanted. It was a wonderful thing for them both. She had never been happier.

And they were back in Whiterun after the wedding finally. They'd decided not to stay in Riften, but took the cart back to Whiterun right away. Neither of them had wanted to spend their first night as wives in a rented bed in the Bee and Barb. The place was a nice enough hostel for traveling, but not good enough for a wedding night.

They went to her home in Whiterun instead, rather stiff after their long carriage ride. Breezehome was quiet, Lydia still in Riften after attending their wedding. She was the one with the room at the Bee and Barb, not the two of them. It would be a few days before she made her way home, and Carillia and Aela were glad for the privacy. 

"This still seems too wonderful to be true." Aela said. Her face was flushed from the ride, red coloring her cheeks. The flower crown she'd worn to their wedding was in her hands. 

They hadn't dressed up, preferring to meet as they always did, armed and in armor. But Aela had added the crown at Carillia's insistence, assuring her that the small detail made it more special not less. It had been a pretty thing to see during the ceremony at least.

When they got to the house, it was agreed that they both needed baths. At any other time they might have tried for one together, but the day had been long and dusty. She let Aela take the metal bath up first, bringing heated water until it they filled the tub and pouring scented oil into it. 

While she waited, Carillia changed from her normal gear into more comfortable clothes. There was a hum of energy about her, as if her happiness had taken on its own frequency. Happy. It felt surreal, despite just happening to her. Too lovely to be true, even though it was.

She sang to herself, loud songs from home that she hadn't heard in ages. Skyrim had no music unless one went into a tavern or into a battle. Carillia missed music, used to love hearing all kinds of noise and song coming from the docks and sailors. Sailors had to be musical, there was nothing better to do on some of those long journeys. Stros M'kai was filled with noise, even the gulls in the sky seemed to sing. Skyrim had nothing like that, not much at all that reminded her of home most days. But then again, that was why she'd left, to see new things. 

While it was not Hammerfell, what Skyrim did have was her new wife, bathing in the next room. It had been such a strange and arduous road for them. She was so glad that they'd begun something new together. As she sang knowing that Aela was there filled her voice with a buoyant, bubbling joy. Every refrain enhanced her happiness, brought more joy to a heart overflowing with it. Love was a wonderful thing.

It was so wonderful that Carillia didn't hear Aela get out of the tub. Aela hadn't been particularly silent, but Carillia was distracted, caught up in her own high. She didn't hear her come up behind her, but she smelled the scent of lavender oil and turned around. Aela, her wet hair streaming down her shoulders caught her up in a hug. 

"I am glad you're so happy, my new wife." Aela said. "It's nice to hear you singing."

"It's nice to sing for you. I miss the music of Hammerfell. You wouldn't believe how much singing goes on there. It's almost as if everyone is in a musical chorus."

Aela gave her a look, joyous and proud. "That sounds wonderful.' She closed her eyes and thought on it, her mind no doubt conjuring images of a tropical land awash in song. It was probably close to the truth. "Now that we're officially married, we should go and visit there sometime. I've never been."

"A good idea if I've ever heard one. But first, I think it's my turn in the bath. After that, we can get down to the better parts of being newly wed." She waggled her eyebrows at Aela, feeling silly for the first time in so very long. Skyrim didn't have enough silliness or smiles. The dragons and war had taken so much from them, but not this day.

Aela laughed as Carillia dumped the old water and refilled it. She was waiting eagerly in the bed when her wife came up to meet her. It wasn't their first time together, but it was special for what it meant to them. Their kisses were softer than before, the hands gentler as they caressed. 

When they came together, it was a coupling of beauty and far more private than it had ever been. Perhaps that was the magic of a ceremony, even if it had been just them it would have been just as meaningful. That meaning spilled over into every touch shared between the two of them, of all the things that they did to and for each other that night.

It felt like far more than Carillia deserved, but her life had been through so many twists and turns she didn't question it. Blessings were rare enough without her scrutiny. She just accepted it, the sweet kisses of her new wife and all the good that came with the day. 

Carillia fell asleep wrapped in Aela's arms and for once the beast blood didn't trouble either of their sleep. They slumbered untroubled, well into the next day and rose leisurely. If this was marriage, Carillia was sure that she could get used to it, even if moments like these had to be between battles.


	21. Keep It Down

Vignar can hear the noise too, it isn't just the people downstairs. And once upon a time he'd been like the Harbinger and her new wife, newlywed and indifferent to the cares of others. Love had a way of sweeping people up in its grasp and making them horribly selfish. He didn't mind it himself, he was an old man and love was a grand thing in such a world, but there were others. Vilkas was plain about his dislike of the rather voluble couple, while Ria blushed when they were mentioned. Athis sighed heavily but said nothing negative and Njada voiced his pleasure almost as loud as Aela and Carillia.

Almost.

He's old and cranky and he not ashamed to go on and yell. He starts stomping on the floor, but then later it turns out and out yelling. 

"KEEP IT DOWN!"

He hears a muffled "Sorry!" through the floorboards in return. All of Jorvaskrr is quieter and happier for his efforts. Vignar might be a mean old cuss, but he hated to dampen happiness. When Aela and Carillia start taking more nights at Breezehome than in the mead hall, he's glad he didn't make them feel too bad.

Love is a rare and wonderful thing, especially in times like theirs. While he doesn't want to hear it all night, he doesn't want it to entirely go away either.


	22. Building Our Home

There were steps to building a house in Skyrim. Of course, one could always purchase a premade house if one was available, but they were building a house. Aela liked the labor, the feeling of doing it herself and watching it as it changed day to day, taking shape. It was a good process, one that Carillia seemed to know a little about. They had supplies, and spent days working side by side, sleeping in the open and talking to each other.

"It's good that this is so near Whiterun, even if it is in the Pale." Aela commented one day as they laid a foundation for a bigger main hall. They'd agreed to keep working instead of making the little frame house into a one room home.

"It's beautiful here." Carillia said, and they both took the chance to look out over the horizon. The light was always pretty, shining through the clouds. It had the advantage of not snowing as often as it did in Dawnstar, and good fertile Whiterun land. There were things to contend with, how remote it was and the giants and other pest, but it was a good spot.

"Should we build a big bedroom?" Carillia asked, looking over the plans they had. There were all sorts of ways to customize a house, but she had plans. Aela nodded at her.

"I think it would be useful." Aela said. "We've talked about having a family before, and if the war comes to Whiterun this might be a safer place."

Carillia was thoughtful before replying, "you know, I would have to fight in such a big battle. I might not be safe, but I'd want you to be."

The thought had crossed Aela's mind. While she understood what had driven Carillia to join the Imperial Legion, she still thought it was the wisest idea to stay out of the war. The Companions had lost so many even avoiding the political fighting, she wasn't sure if they could stand to lose another Harbinger if the fighting didn't go well. And she, she could not bear to even think of how it would feel to lose her new wife. But Carillia had committed and duty must be honored. Part of her was proud, but the majority of her heart worried for her wife.

"I know. This house should be a refuge, not just for us but for our children." This too they had talked about, in whispers as they held each other at night. It hadn't come to anything yet, mostly because they hadn't the room for kids. That was what this house was for.

"Then we'd better keep building." Carillia said, smiling at her. It was slow going, but in addition to the main hall and entry, they'd started a garden. In a few weeks time, they might even have a few things to eat from it. 

"Let's look over the plans again. I liked the thought of a proper kitchen too." Aela said.

"That just leaves the back room." Carillia told her. She mused over a couple of different plans, then picked one up. "Maybe a trophy room. I feel like you and I have plenty of unts left in us yet."

Aela kissed Carillia on the cheek. Of course there were many hunts to come, and motherhood for them both, and other untold adventures. Her hand closed over Carillia's as she held the plans for their house. The wind whipped around them, but Aela wasn't cold. This was the good life she'd never even dared to dream of, but now that it was here, it almost felt like too much. Carillia turned to embrace her and then let her go. Aela went back to where she'd been cutting the logs to use and her love went back to making nails. 

The house would be built soon but there was still so much to do before they could truly move in, and the war and all their other pressures wouldn't wait for her to bask in it. Time to get things done, just as she always had. She looked over her shoulder and saw Carillia's hand push the dark hair back from her damp brow. At least she wasn't alone anymore.


End file.
